As for expectations, just observe the expectations that come to your mind, but don't expect anything from others, no matter who it is: your wife, parents, lovers, friends, boss, etc. The biggest danger when expectations become disappointments. It breaks everything: friendship, love, lives, because disappointment means damaged Ego, and when Ego is damaged people gets offensive and defensive. For example, if one loves someone and expects that this lover loves him or her too, one is setting up an expectation. Then when this expectation is not met, this one person becomes mad, or disappointed or his/her love transforms into anger and hate. Having such strong feelings toward anybody means being chained, being tight by bandages and not having freedom. Therefore only not having any expectations means being free. Also, I see love being pain free, if my love can cost any issues to the object of my heart, I would keep silence until my grave, because if my selfishness wants me to have him for myself, then it's not love that's simply my damaged Ego, my desire to proof that I can do that, that's not love, that's a desire to feel powerful and it is a possession, that is not much different than having an expensive bag or a beautiful home. I don't want that. Real selfishness is to value your inner world, your soul, accepting your desires and not judging them, but not damaging life of others. If your object of love has the same desire towards you as you do, no force in the world can stop it, but damaging families, lives, careers - it's the fullish thing anybody can do, because it never brings happiness.